you would pick up someone in the library
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
