Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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