I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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