I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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