Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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