If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
