Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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