wrigley field is MILF paradise
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
