Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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