These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
