toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
