it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
