in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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