Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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