I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
