What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
