so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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