He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
