ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
North Korea, Best Korea!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
