the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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