sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
