This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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