This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize