Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
