Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
