he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
