so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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