I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
