im drinking this country out of the recession.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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