I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
