there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
