so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
