I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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