You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
my poor anus
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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