xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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