i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
