I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize