Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I want her autograph on my taint
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
