I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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