What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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