...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
