I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
