this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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