He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
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