The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
