No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
