When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize