Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
