Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
