My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
