oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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