I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize