Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
