is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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