Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
