i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
