Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
