I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize