You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
