party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
