why didn't you poke me back
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize