He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
