Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
