is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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