I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
