well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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