so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
