If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
