just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
