Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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