And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
